You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
“
| — | Chris Rock |
A lot of people say that it’s a lack of vocabulary that makes you swear. Rubbish. I know thousands of words but I still prefer “fuck”.
“
| — | Billy Connolly |
I’m not a person who I ever thought would do well with divorce. Not that it can’t happen. I just didn’t want that. So I waited a long time to meet the right person. Then I finally met someone that I was willing to be divorced from.
“
| — | Albert Brooks |
I got so good at writing to a budget, my brain was restricting myself. I’d write, “It’s a stormy night.” Then I’d cross out stormy. I’d write: “It’s a calm night.” Then I’d cross out night. It’s noon. Because you know how much night costs. You know how much rain costs. Nothing comes free in movies.
“
| — | Albert Brooks |
The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don’t.
I wanted to be a veterinarian for about a week of my life when I was a kid. But I found out about the whole euthanasia thing and I said, “I can’t commit to that, sorry!
